Unstable structures

I’m still preoccupied with the idea of the unit. Even though the drawings have become looser, the circle imposes a sort of order. I came across some diagrams of carbon structures on the Internet recently. I was particularly drawn to the amorphous structure – apparently it forms at the edges of other elemental compounds, its lack of integrity however allows it to be a part of more complex carbon structures.

Again this ‘in-between’ always seems to be at the heart of things, thinking metaphorically about being on the edge, or the potential of connecting to something larger. It also gets me thinking about certainty and the consequences of letting go of absolutes, which can create possibilities as well as risk – an unstable structure is a vulnerable one.

I’ve been keeping the phrase ‘occidental accident’ in my head for quite a long time as a possible development of the work. It still isn’t entirely clear to me but the idea of something ‘Western’ being accidental – like a by-product - something not anticipated intrigues me.

Object?

I used to make objects, and for several reasons I’ve spent some time away from that activity. For a while the idea of making an object felt rather static. When the urge resurfaced I was filled with anxiety at the thought of having to battle with old insecurities. But recently several conversations have allowed me to find the courage.

I’m thinking that the drawings are informing these experiments - so far they’re not a direct translation of them. There are also some formative things going on, which feel right at this moment to return to. I’d like to keep both things going in tandem se what happens...

Abstract

So as this abstraction fing is kinda new to me… it’s been rather difficult to gauge the success of my efforts on those grounds - apart from the fact that I find my drawings beautiful. I know some would find that statement simplistic, but I do remember hearing David Batchelor speak of ‘pleasure’ as opposed to ‘beauty’ in relation to the reception of work. That sounds ok I spose - its more definite as a term, you’re less likely to refute its credibility - pleasure is pleasure you can‘t argue with that...

In some ways I’ve taken a rather predictable route, if we take abstraction on the surface as a means of visualising the interior. The archetypal image of the artist removed from the world - I’ve been looking at books on abstract expressionism recently. Strangely although the artist themselves would stress the absence of politics, the social and cultural context surrounding it almost makes that impossible – there is always a position, which equates to a politic.

Rationalizing the expressive

Although this work is an attempt to trust my own hands and to allow them to do something undetermined – there is a social and cultural context surrounding it. For me this is where the light box comes in, behaving as an analytical frame, whether that be the science of the sociology, psychology or art criticism…

Paying more attention to 'art history', I had a realization - that of appropriation and my freedom to do this as an artist trained on Euro/American art school principles. That said I don't have to follow those principles to the letter, just borrow and cannibalise what I need...

Roni Horn 'Pink tons' 2008

And what of African or Caribbean sensibility or aesthetics one might ask? For me right now - it’s more about black abstracted from these routes, and further black constructed within a western context. It’s not an ideal just an existential project, which I know as my own truth - and thats it… Who knows how it will evolve or end?

Black on White

Untitled 2010

You must forgive my jumps between the past and present. This blog is like being in a time warp, for me it's important to identify these connections... So the current aesthetic has emerged through several elements converging...

• The black and white palette of the Dandelion project
• My continuing interest in reading sociological texts (an analytical lens for viewing social dynamics)
• Centring on myself as an individual, while acknowledging my cultural and political identity within a larger social structure.

Some time ago I came across an essay by Robert Hobbs ‘Looking B(l)ack: Reflections Of White Racism’, which was part of a wider project called '30 Americans', at the Rubell family collection in Miami. Hobbs starts off with a quote from Frantz Fanon’s seminal text ‘Black Skin White Masks’. In this quote Fanon proposes the construction of ‘Black’ identity being determined by Western environmental conditions. My explanation is rather basic, but I've also been preoccupied by the same idea...

From the Generic to the Specific

Dandelion Dispenser 2008

Hopefully you've read previous entries and seen the ‘journey’ so far... There is a stark contrast visually from previous work - currently it all appears rather cool and remote. This is indicative of the retreat from a socially engaged process. In order to protect myself from a prevailing notion of accessible ascetics (from the generic,) I turned to drawing as a more immediate and specific activity.

Two Self-Portraits 2008

In 2008 I began to draw myself again, an activity I hadn't done since foundation years... 'Two self-portraits are an attempt to reconcile the graphic smoothed out line (the vector path) with the idiosyncrasies of the hand made mark. A permanent line is stencilled on to a chalkboard; marks are drawn with pastels and pencils and recorded digitally. The drawings were rubbed out, then drawn again in a constant process of erasure and renewal...'

The ambition was to make an index of the photographs as a video, a slow, close up look at each drawing over time. It all became too emotional though - I struggled to commit to the activity. But the one recurring element, that black blankness signaled new beginnings...

Open Studios

I opened my studio last weekend… the whole process of putting the thing on (the group effort) took my mind off the work. Then finally - when I got back to it, I felt rather alienated. To remedy this I decided to make a bit of kit for the new drawings. Sometimes I find comfort in making something physical and immersing myself in process.

Having strangers in your studio a can be quite unnerving… many encounters are awkward as well as brief. That said in amongst those brief encounters, you meet a few friendly individuals unfazed by the privacy of the space. In this situation one gets practice telling the story of the work. When it’s all one big chain of events, it very hard to gauge where to begin. The story comes out in various versions over the weekend, but a few phrases remain in the aftermath as useful…

Control?

just a few spillages 2010

Some days I feel guilty that these blobs don’t seem to exist anywhere, maybe like the Petri dish every thing else is pulverised for the sake of one culture. I could use this play of words to talk about a wider political landscape, but it isn’t really about that… Anyway coming back to the process - the studio plays a great part. Its a rarefied space, (some would say fetishised even) it provides protection for artists and their work, comfort and status. Putting all that aside a studio provides a space, clear of debris and distraction- influence is carefully sucked through straw as and when needed – it’s all rather controlled – it’s a big fat incubator.

Duchamp Three Standard Stoppages 1913-14

Yes I admit – I like (many other people who make stuff) am a control freak. At the same time its funny that we spend a great deal of time trying not to know (gotta keep boredom at bay). I remember listening to Margret Iversen give examples of strategies used by artists for creating chance within their processes, in her words ‘Falling, dropping, letting go’… I’m thinking of adding ‘Chance’ - her instalment of those Whitechapel/MIT readers to my collection. ‘Participation’ was a good read – somehow ‘situation’ didn’t grab me. But I feel very aware of the conditions of the studio and its effect on my outcomes…

Untitled Black Series 2010

Blobs

'Blob' 2004-6

I’ve been into blobs for a long time… Looking back my palette wasn’t vast but it was a tad larger. In those early days, I totally obsessed about camouflage. The idea of continual change and adaptation to each environment or situation encountered.

I’ve been thinking recently about the motives for camouflage and also about that fairytale/mythical creature the changeling. The changeling appears to be a deceitful entity. Creating illusions that allow it to exist undetected by others, somehow deception and truth become intermingled.

The salt monster in Star trek 'The Man Trap'

If we look to the natural world, we see deception as a survival strategy. Consequently that deception is inherent within the identity of that creature. My camo was rather more symbolic, using the over exposed amoeba pattern (the ‘urban solider’ motif) the project focused on the dysfunctional – standing out not blending in…

I keep thinking about a black blob morphing and assimilating the world it encounters – its not sci-fi - not an invasion - just survival…

Structure/Anti-structure

The drawings became too tight - needed to remedy this some how. I found myself splashing ink around trying to loosen the whole process. Having put the older drawings away I responded to a memory, the new drawings totally exploded…

Untitled black series 2010

I took a step sideways recently… I thought about the futility of trying to construct ‘meaning’ (it was probably one of my darker days). Then I started to concentrate on the splashes, using the unit (spot) in an attempt to construct something out of them.

Untitled Black Series 2010

Digital lens

Untitled Black Series 2009

It may seem obvious to say that there's a distinction between the drawings and the photographs I take of them. Documenting them on the light box was just that at first, a record. There is a difference in appearance from the work in the flesh; but I consider the subject not altered – more like ‘revealed’ - kinda like an Xray. I’d recently bought a new camera and discovered the magic of digital negatives. My first adventure into this world was like finding a secret door into Photoshop. Photography was the starting point of this blog, the luminosity of the screen gives the image a vibrance which is expensive to achieve with a physical print...

Inbetween

Untitled Black Series 2009

The show was a really great experience, in more ways than one, but ultimately I got to look back at some older drawings… then a dilemma - I can’t decide whether I’m taking a step sideways or backwards? This thing keeps on oscillating between singular vs multiplicity’, macro vs micro.

Untitled Black Series 2009

Here are some other things I’ve thought about recently:

Cosmology, The unknown

Black as a socio political entity

Jazz original black abstract

Electro music,

Beginnings,

Primal

Primordial soup

Liquid modernity,

Rorschach blots…

Untitled Black Series 2010

The spot

Untitled Black series 2009

So there you go, spots… black to basics, making a simple mark. Each spot overlaps the next, black nebulous forms evolving intuitively. There is s a sort of order about them – the geometry of the circle. I suppose that spot is singular, the ‘I’ or maybe the dot on the 'i'.

I tried very hard in the past to police ‘self expression’ so the work could resonate with others. I desperately wanted criticality… that distinction from the league of Sunday painters – the ‘habitual artist’. There was probably some nihilism in there to - imagine after spending so much time making and thinking with a machine-produced aesthetic, the idea of going back to drawing exclusively was scary. I decided to take life-drawing classes; to recapture some lost idea of talent. Not to go into it too long - I abandoned that project.

Going it alone I crept back into the studio, turned the lights down and studied that spot. Suddenly there was potential – maybe reinvention - I might be struck by some mysterious bolt of ‘genius’.

Most of the early drawings are 25² cm by circumstances, which includes being low on cash. At first these drawings were black – densely back. Combining different inks and layering brought a depth to the surface. All of a sudden I was walking around the drawings seeing different marks appear and disappear as I moved. Ironically right out of drawing something formally sculptural was happening - it felt like for the first time. I spent a long time making these drawings trying not to know too much, trying to let the process breath. Repetition can be a life saver in this game, you will arrive at somewhere eventually. Then I had an epiphany... I put one on a light box and a whole new world opened up...

Untitled Black Series 2009

New beginnings

Untitled 2008

charred remains?

Untitled 2008

Prehistory?

Untitled Rock (detail) 2008